Saturday, September 6, 2008

DAZE- A Tale From The Wayback Machine Pt 2





I kicked back one Saturday, watching Gone in 60 seconds ( the 70's Halicki classic, not the Nic Cage remake), drifting off into the haze of nostalgia---- As a kid, struggling thru art school, I took some crazy ass jobs to fit my hectic schedule. I wound up taking a job as a repo man (how I fell into this gig, well, you already know...). Now, there are 2 types of cars to grab: the cars that're fresh on the list, and those that're about to be written off by the insurance company... By taking option #2, not only was I honored to become skip tracer for the state, but a human target as well... Yes sir, the 90's were in full effect!

The advantage of taking such a risky gig was the opportunity to reset my credit/debt record ..(Believe me, the college loans were kicking my ass!!!). In return, I would sit in my car and watch an old lady in a walker trudge to a SuperSport that she's kept in hiding for a year past it's recall date. In return , I would follow her to the gas station and watch her fill up. Wait for her to go inside ever soooo sloooooowly... Put my partner in the driver's seat of my car and take to the wheel of a powerful SS with a triple thick black paint job.
I would pull away as she emerges from the cashier-- watch her throw her walker down and jump up and down, screaming " You sorry bastard!!!!"--- All I could focus on was the $250 on the car, minus 10 bucks for the ignition switch.

And it was my third car of the day. In between Life drawing and Typography.


Then, of course, I would think about the crazier moments: Imagine disabling a car alarm while the car is parked under an open window... The bedroom window... While the client and his wifey were screaming mid-coitus. Imagine rolling a car downhill while trying to slam the car lock before I have to jump outta the car and watch it plummet off an embankment. Imagine getting away from a shotgun toting maniac after grabbing a car I've been hunting down for 3 months--- only to have the steering column LOCK THE F*CK UP while doing a cool 80 mph after only 2 miles!
Imagine getting pulled over by the cops, only then realizing that I left the repo order in MY car--- and I lost him 2 miles back! Try explaining that one. Mr Smith used to tell me that life expectancy in this business, at some point and time, would eventually drop to zero. He wasn't kiddin'... Within a year, 5 of the agents I trained with were either killed or seriously wounded. I think that was wake-up call enough for me to seek life elsewhere.
Mr. Smith taught me alot about the business. Subsequently, my mentor disappeared 2 years later after attempting to repo a ride he traced back to the Texas border. All they found was a sky blue Torino and a .38 revolver in the glove box... He will be missed.
The DVD ends, breaking my train of thought.

Imagine my laughter when the remake of 'Gone in 60 Seconds' comes on cable.

2 comments:

Brian Miller said...

Wow. Just . . . wow.

Your art school experience sounds a whole lot more bad ass than mine ever was.

This all sounds like a great graphic novel . . .

Anonymous said...

Actually, I'm thankful to still be alive to recieve such a comment;)

Thanks alot!