Friday, November 27, 2009
Tis' The Season For The Treason And Other Trifling Moments
Hopefully everyone out there is having a wonderful Thanksgiving--- mine was spent working, but hey, can't have it all, can we? While I was out and about, I'll admit, I've never seen so many people buying turkey/peanut oil combo's in my life! (Deep-fried turkey moves like Blue Magic around here) Of course, my time leads into the wildest shopping day of the year--- the infamous BLACK FRIDAY! Even with the economy the way it is, that didn't stop the hundreds of people out there buying everything from ROCK BAND to ZHU ZHU PETS (the EBay Toy of the Year), laptops to flat screen TV's... Of course, desperation and excitement often go hand-in-hand on days like this.
For example, I happened to come across this one guy stealing 10 Rib Eye steaks at $18 bucks a pop, shoving them down his pants! His PANTS, mind you... As he shoves them in one after the other, he doesn't realize that the plastic wrap on the packs are tearing, causing the blood in the packs to run.
Here's where I come in.
I walk up on this guy just as he finishes the last pack, whipping around in a sudden mix of shock, fear, and embarrassment; saying, " Hey man... I'm just trying to feed my kids..." My reaction is more like, ' Gee, sounds like a great After-Thankgiving-Sampler, but I think your failure to include a maxi-pad in your larceny list is duly noted', as I point down to the HUGE blood stains running down the front of his pants. He yanked the hundred-eighty-odd bucks in steaks out of his Murder One Jeans and hauled ass as people stopped and stared.
Needless to say, it's a holiday... I just stood there and laughed. And now, so are you.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING from PLANET GRIFFIN... And after the bathroom break, it's back to work.